Wow! Has it really been
over a month since my last blog post? Too long! Can't let that
happen again!!!! so here we go......
Can one really "start over"? I say no and why
would you want to! Starting over means that you negate everything you
have done and experienced to get you where you are at this moment! So I
propose this......
"No one can go back & make a brand new start but
anyone can start from now & make a brand new ending." I just
recently saw this quote, of course, on Facebook.....You know, the place where
all quotes exist, all insights and advice are given, all truths are told
(insert hard belly laugh here).
This quote however stuck with me. I think it resonated
with me because I have often heard the words "If I had to do it all
over..... or I wish I could start brand new...." come from my lips.
I believe it is a natural human response to want to start over or start
fresh when our lives take an unexpected turn or our journey brings us down a
path that we did not anticipate or want. Truth be told, when I really
think about those words, "starting over", "a brand new
start", it is the exact opposite of what I want.
I just started my new job one month ago and I love it.
I love it for so many reasons. I feel comfortable, I feel like I
fit, I feel like a part of something and I feel like I can and will have a
positive impact! Now I know it will not be all roses and smiles, it is
work after all....but, it makes me happy. At first I looked at it as if I
was starting over, starting fresh, but in fact, it is neither. I feel
like I am getting my life back in a sense. A life that was on a temporary
pause. We do that, we sometimes put life on pause, while we figure things
out. Now I am sure you know I mean that figuratively as we all know the
world keeps turning, the clock keeps ticking and life continues to happen but
often we are presented with circumstances that put our life, our journey on
pause! So I assert that this is not starting over, it is just a
continuation and possible new path to this thing I call my journey. (My Insight - pressing the pause does
not stop life from happening, it just gives you time and an opportunity to
clarify what change is necessary, define new goals, revisit your dreams and
clear that new path, blaze a new trail if you will).
So this new job, it is me, taking my life off pause.
Taking what I know, my skills, my professional experiences, my
life experiences and my insight at this very moment and beginning to carve out
a new path on my journey and maybe even create a new ending than the one the
universe had in mind. Now by ending I don't mean final, I simply mean a
new ending than possibly the one that was in store for me had I stayed on the
path/journey I was on. I guess only time will tell or maybe it won't.
If you have read my blog before you already know I really
struggle with the general concept that everything happens for a reason but I do
believe there are not coincidences. That being said, this new path, this
new life and professional journey, is it really me writing a new ending or was
it truly the path I was destined to follow, the ending I was really supposed to
have. (Again, I don't like the finality of the word ending, but for the
purposes of the aforementioned quote, it works)
You see my whole life has seemed to change in the last 4
years. Yes, in the last 4 years I have experienced true heartache, pain,
anger, frustration, loss and confusion however when I really reflect on the
last 4 years, those things are insignificant to the happiness, joy, love,
laughter, friendship, growth, maturity, and perspective I have experienced and
gained.
I have reconnected with old friends, made new ones, learned
valuable (and at times painful) lessons about people and how naive I
can be when it comes to the intentions of others. I have made errors in
judgement and made mistakes. I have become more involved and realized
that my journey is not just about me and what I create but what I do and who
and how I impact. I have learned that my purpose, what I thought I was
meant to do and be is very different. I have learned to be patient with
people, I have learned to be more compassionate, I have learned to view people
and situations for what they are and not based upon my agenda or what I think
they are. I have learned that it really is not all about me but about the
bigger picture, the people around me and what I want my legacy to be.
You see I have experienced
change. Some change happens overtime and some change happens within
days and some occurs instantly! Some change is completely unexpected
while other change is anticipated and well planned (this doesn't happen to often
though). Some of my change has come in the form of a life lesson and some
have forced an immediate life course correction. Either way I have
learned that change is good. Even big change! (My Insight - 4
years ago I made the conscious choice to Live Life Out Loud! To try
my damnedest to live life with no regrets! Its hard but its
worth it. It can upset people who don't understand, but its worth it.
It sometimes causes pain and sadness, but its worth it. When it creates
happiness, joy, laughter, and that sense of inner strength
and fulfillment we all strive for, it is more than worth it!)
Quote - Unknown author -
"Making a big life change is scary. But, know what's even scarier?
Regret!"
This being said, it has become
very important for me to continue my life's journey being reflective, learning,
being open to change and understanding that every curve ball, every new
experience, every new person or relationship (new or old) is placed before me
so that I may gain perspective and share that perspective with those I care
for, those that will listen and those that might benefit. (My Insight - Do more
of what makes you happy!!!!!)
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